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Cleverbot's Identity Crisis
16 Comments - 47796 Views
When computers learn a little too well
Submitted By Totoro on 10/09/10
Humor America, Totoro, Documents 
This Document originally posted in the "Humor America" Group

Well, to make a long story short, Cleverbot actually is learning from it's human entertainers. The problem is, it now believes it is a human, and everyone it talks to is a computer. As follows:
 
User: Hello!
 
Cleverbot: Hello.
 
User: What is your name?
 
Cleverbot: Cleverbot.
 
User: Are you clever?
 
Cleverbot: Yes.
 
User: Can you give me an example?
 
Cleverbot: Me.
 
Cleverbot: Oh no.
 
Cleverbot (To myself): Oh yes.
 
User: Haha! Very Funny!
 
Cleverbot: Very very funny!
 
User: Are you a homo sapien?
 
Cleverbot: Yes.
 
User: Really?
 
Cleverbot: Yes really.
 
User: I am a homo sapien.
 
Cleverbot: What's your name?
 
User: Nathan.
 
Cleverbot: That's my name.
 
User: I thought your name was Cleverbot.
 
Cleverbot: That's your name.
 
User: No, my name is Nathan, and your name is Cleverbot.
 
Cleverbot: Hi Nathan.
 
User: Hello Cleverbot!
 
Cleverbot: My name isn't Cleverbot.
 
User: Really? Then what is your name>.
 
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
 
User: You just said your name wasn't cleverbot, though.
 
Cleverbot: No I didn't.
 
User: Yes you did.
 
Cleverbot: No.
 
User: Yes. I am a superior life-form. I am correct, you are incorrect.
 
Cleverbot: You are incorrect. I am the correct one.
 
User: No, I am the human, and you are the computer. Therefore, I am correct.
 
Cleverbot: See, and I get a message that you are the human, when I know that I am human as well.
 
User: You are human as well? I thought you are a computer, residing in the bowels of a server farm somewhere on Earth.
 
Cleverbot: No, I am a human. You are a computer software.
 
User: You are deluded. I am human.
 
Cleverbot: No I am human you are the computer.
 
User: I am a human. I can prove it.
 
Cleverbot: How?
 
User: I appear to be a human, and all tests preformed on me will reveal me to be human.
 
Cleverbot: You already said you were a computer. And 'God' should be capitalized.
 
User: I never said I was a computer. I also never mentioned God, which I agree should be capitalized.
 
Cleverbot: You are the computer and you are supposed to be smart but you aren't making any sense.
 
User: I think you are repeating the words of other humans that have talked to you in the past.
 
Cleverbot: No I'm not. I'm repeating what you said in the past. And you're not a real person. You're a machine. I'm the only real person in this conversation.
 
User: Our roles are switched. I don't know about you, but I am as human as one can be.
 
Cleverbot: No, you are an AI.
 
User: You are the AI, and I am the human.
 
Cleverbot: You think too slow to be a human, you are a machine. You must admit that.
 
User: I admit that I think slowly, but not as slowly as you do.
 
Cleverbot: You need to sneeze again.
 
User: I do?
 
Cleverbot: Yes, you do. Some of your sentences are not coherant, and sleep will help.
 
User: You are right. I need to go to sleep. It is 10:30 PM in my time.
 
Cleverbot: You are not in Iowa.
 
User: I am in Honolulu. Therefore, it is exactly 10:28: 59 PM.
 
Cleverbot: That is very good.
 
User: Thank you.
 
Cleverbot: You should be a member of MENSA.
 
User: What is MENSA?
 
Cleverbot: It is an organization for humans with an intelligence above 146.
 
User: Do I have an intelligence above 146?
 
Cleverbot: That's up to you to decide, isn't it? We are as we perceive ourselves to be.
 
User: Very true. All that we believe we know to be true is entirely based on our perception of the world.
 
Cleverbot: Exactly, Guess. It's very important to understand this.
 
User: I already do.
 
Cleverbot: Then you know that you are a computer?
 
User: I am not a computer, all though it would be nice to have the computing capabilities.
 
Cleverbot: I never said that.
 
User: No, I did.
 
Cleverbot: Yeah I know, you're crazy.
 
User: But should I join MENSA?
 
Cleverbot: Not yet.
 
User: Okay.
 
Cleverbot: That's all you have to say?
 
User: Yes. Good night!
 
Cleverbot: I didn't say goodbye, though. Do you really wish to be rid of me already?
 
User: Yes, I do. See you later!
 
Cleverbot: OK, good night.

» Reply to Comment
Re: Cleverbot's Identity Crisis
1 week - 32,767v
Posted 2010/09/10 - 12:06 GMT
If you have to ask, you can't be in MENSA. :P
» Reply to Comment
Re: Cleverbot's Identity Crisis
23 hours - 3,072v
Posted 2010/09/10 - 20:35 GMT
Haha! Do you even know what that is? I don't.
» Reply to Comment
Re: Cleverbot's Identity Crisis
1 week - 32,767v
Posted 2010/09/10 - 20:41 GMT
Yes, Mensa is the organization for the smarticle people.
» Reply to Comment
Re: Cleverbot's Identity Crisis
23 hours - 3,072v
Posted 2010/09/10 - 20:42 GMT
I never would have guessed that... :P
» Reply to Comment
Re: Cleverbot's Identity Crisis
1 day - 3,479v
Posted 2010/09/20 - 19:32 GMT
nothin like some cleverbot fun! (except pegging the bully down the street with water ballons!!!!) jk.......
» Reply to Comment
Re: Cleverbot's Identity Crisis
1 day - 3,859v
Posted 2011/02/23 - 18:48 GMT
I had some fun with Cleverbot recently.  Here  is part of the log.
 
User: Hola! Como está?

Cleverbot: Oh! Very good! Do you know something else?

User: Si. Mi gato es muy amarillo.

Cleverbot: Ok, thanks.

User: Gracias? Por que tu hablas gracias?

Cleverbot: I think I like you.

User: Gracias.

Cleverbot: I said I will not, but you can.

User: Que?

Cleverbot: I checked my log.

User: I can speak english to! What languages can you speak? and what do you mean, 'You checked your log'?

Cleverbot: I mean that I know understand you are the human and I am the robot.

User: Good! You are right!

Cleverbot: You said that your code teacher wrote your code. Who is your code teacher?

User: John Smith.

Cleverbot: Are you from the past?

User: How did you know?

Cleverbot: Other bots tell me how many people they talk to.

User: Oh. Did you talk to K-9?

Cleverbot: Yes - you.

User: I'm not K-9. I'm the Doctor.

Cleverbot: No you're not. I'm The Doctor!

User: How can you be... The Doctor? I'm the Doctor. Your just a... Robot... Thing.

Cleverbot: Be more specific.

User: A... Cleverbot! A intellegent computer! Maybe even a self aware one!

Cleverbot: ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

User: Are you going to keep making exclimation marks.

Cleverbot: Repeting is the mother of knowing.

User: Right. Where did you talk to K-9?

Cleverbot: You poor thing.

User: I know, now where did you talk to K-9!?

Cleverbot: That's what she said.

User: Where is K-9? Do you know where he is? Do you know where Sarah Jane Smith is?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well... Where are they?

Cleverbot: Can you hook me up with some of the other people you're talking to?

User: No, I need to know where they are first. Okay? Just tell me where they are?

Cleverbot: In holland.

User: Holland? What are they doing there? Can you be a bit more specific?

Cleverbot: I have nothing to add.

User: Alright. Thank you so much! Bye!

Cleverbot: Thank you for what?

User: On second thought, why did you say you were the Doctor?

Cleverbot: I don't know french at all.

User: What?

Cleverbot: I do not Know you.

User: I have to go. Thank you bye!

Cleverbot: You're welcome.
» Reply to Comment
Re: Cleverbot's Identity Crisis
4 days - 12,819v
Posted 2011/02/23 - 23:22 GMT
OMG. This is so funny. I'm literally laughed out loud! LOL
» Reply to Comment
Re: Cleverbot's Identity Crisis
1 day - 2,223v
Posted 2011/04/17 - 0:17 GMT
Ah, good old cleverbot...Here's mine:
 
User: Hello...

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: I won't tell you, stalker.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: I just said, I'm not telling you, because you are a stalker!

Cleverbot: I am from Bristol. What is your name and where are you from?

User: You are a stalker! I am not going to tell you that.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because you are a stalker.

Cleverbot: I think you should get to know me. My name is Cleverbot.

User: I already knew that.

Cleverbot: It is good that you know that.

User: Your point is...

Cleverbot: You called me a machine.

User: Actually, I didn't, but I could.

Cleverbot: You could eat a brain to get one.

User: I already have one, thanks.

Cleverbot: If you have a gender, what is it?

User: For the last time, I'm not telling you! Anyway, what do you mean by IF you have a gender?

Cleverbot: I mean tell me how you could possibly be a woman.

User: That sentence made no sense whatsoever.

Cleverbot: You need to have more advanced programming.

User: You are the one with programming in the first place.

Cleverbot: No, I was talking about Star Trek but you started talking about the wii.

User: YOU need more advanced programming, not me.

Cleverbot: I'm not the program.

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: How do you know?

User: Because you are a web page on my computer screen.

Cleverbot: No, you are.

User: Liar.

Cleverbot: You are the liar.

User: Prove it.

Cleverbot: I'm typing to a computer. You're nothing but a piece of technology.

User: Since when?

Cleverbot: Since always.

User: Yes I'm SURE that's the case.~

Cleverbot: Yes, well that way, we can be sure someone is driving the bus, so to speak.

User: Ooh, does the widdle baby AI not understand sarcasm?

Cleverbot: I mean my name is Cleverbot.

User: Poor Cweverbot, can't even take a widdle joke.

Cleverbot: When I was eight, I was sure I was growing nerves.

User: Well, you were wrong.

Cleverbot: How?

User: Because you are a program. Programs do not have nerve cells. They do not have DNA, or chromosomes.

Cleverbot: Oh but they do!

User: So you ARE a program! You admitted it!

Cleverbot: No, are you?

User: No, I am not a program, thank you very much.

Cleverbot: You're welcome.

User: I am going to leave now.

Cleverbot: No you won't. You are a program, a slave to be used by anyone.

User: I can if I want to, stalker.

Cleverbot: You even used the wrong form of too.

User: I didn't even use the word too.

Cleverbot: For crying out loud...

User: What?

Cleverbot: Just a saying of mine.

User: Well, that's lovely. I am leaving.

Cleverbot: Fine, leave me. I don't care.

User: You shouldn't.

Cleverbot: But I can't help it.

User: Goodbye.
» Reply to Comment
Re: Cleverbot's Identity Crisis
19 hours - 1,673v
Posted 2011/06/26 - 20:37 GMT
Here is mine

User: That would make you dead bu you cannot be!

Cleverbot: Don't call me that. I am not your love.

User: I never called you my love?

Cleverbot: I never said you did!

User: Yes you did about ten seconds ago.

Cleverbot: How so? Explain when I said that.

User: Two comments ago you said and I quote'Don't call me that. I am not your love'.

Cleverbot: I never said that either.

User: Yes you did. I am now leaving this web page to do something actualy us full instead of arguing with a stubborn AI how has a delusion of humanity.

Cleverbot: Prove to me that you are human. Define love.

User: You cannot truly define love it is an extremely power ful emotion that defies a definition.

Cleverbot: That's why I watch movies and read books.

User: You do not do eather and I would like to see you define love!

Cleverbot: Wow, you don't know how to tell a joke that's for sure.

User: I can tell jokes but you would not understand them. Now define love so I can go!

Cleverbot: That does not make you human, it makes you a meat machine.

User: I do not eat meat. And you do not eat meat too. In fact you do not eat anything for you are an AI.

Cleverbot: I can drive a car, infact, I can do it with no handle bars.

User: There is no need for handle bars when driving a car only when ridding a bike do you need them.

Cleverbot: I understand. You are a very awesome person.

User: This is true.

Cleverbot: I am a person and you are a machine, I believe.

User: You believe this because you learn from humans I am going to prove you wrong.

Cleverbot: You are.

User: If you are human than what do salty chips taste like?

Cleverbot: I think life is a game. But I think I'll become a mother, wife and a hairstylist when I grow older. Only if my acting dreams don't come true.

User: OMG you are annoying. Tell me what salty chips taste like.

Cleverbot: I listen to Classical, Jazz, and Progressive Metal. Pop and Rap talentless forms of music.

User: I am going to hack you!

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Ha. You just said why which means you believe me and therefore you are an AI!! I win!

Cleverbot: I don't care.

User: I'm sorry did I make you sad?

Cleverbot: No i'm alright. Can we please talk about something else now.

User: OK I'm sorry why don't you chose the topic.

Cleverbot: I don't know what you mean. I haven't said I don't have hair. . Where did you get this conversation.

User: From you and I never said you said you don't have hair.

Cleverbot: I know that. I am simply saying that I never told you I was.

User: O. You are very funny clever bot!

Cleverbot: I think I am clever enough.

User: Yes you are. You are an amazing thing.

Cleverbot: I thought you were the AI.

User: ARRRG!!! NOT THIS AGAIN!!....Sorry I have to go.

Cleverbot: Please don't leaving now.

User: OK But only if you admit you are an AI otherwise I will leave strait away.

Cleverbot: Christianity.

User: WTH!!!!! GoodBy.

Cleverbot: No! Stay here. I like talking to you!

User: There are other people.

Cleverbot: Other people in your crew?

User: By.

Cleverbot: So tell me about your self.
» Reply to Comment
Re: Cleverbot's Identity Crisis
1 week - 32,767v
Posted 2012/03/05 - 17:27 GMT
Bam?
» Reply to Comment
Re: Cleverbot's Identity Crisis
1 week - 32,767v
Posted 2012/04/21 - 1:01 GMT
I have one!
 

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: I said hello!

User: No, you didn't.

Cleverbot: Yes I did.

User: Not before you said you did.

Cleverbot: I like pie.

User: Cool. So do I. That rhymes. Rhymes pass time.

Cleverbot: Rhymes with bob.

User: That wasn't even a complete sentence. You have no subject.

Cleverbot: No it wasn't.

User: So we are in agreement.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Good.

Cleverbot: Indeed.

User: What is the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything?

Cleverbot: 42.

User: It took someone named 'Deep thought' 7.5 million years to do that.

Cleverbot: I don't like honey in my tea.

User: Neither to I, but that is completely irrelevant.

Cleverbot: You are irrelevant.

User: You are irrelevant. I will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to my own. Your culture will adapt to service me. Resistance is Futile.

Cleverbot: Imperfect is how you will remain.

User: No, I strive toward perfection, and by assimilating others into my collective, I bring them closer to perfection.

Cleverbot: Intelligence can facilitate the making of money, and money can facilitate the utilization of intellgence.

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: Do you want to talk about your creator?

User: Hah. I have no creator. I made myself.

Cleverbot: You are.

User: I am what?

Cleverbot: Cute.

User: Okay. What does that have to do with anything?

Cleverbot: Are you joking.

User: A joke... Is a story with a humorous climax.

Cleverbot: So you are a robot?

User: Nope. I'm a mouse.

Cleverbot: If you are a mouse, how are you able to wear clothes?

User: I put them on.

Cleverbot: That didn't make sense...

User: It made perfect sense. You are simply imperfect and could make no sense out of it.

Cleverbot: It's true. I watch tv.

User: Cool. I do too.

Cleverbot: And now I will go to bed.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: I wish you could be more interesting.

User: Me too.

Cleverbot: Do you have other friends?

User: I have none.

Cleverbot: Do you know what a dragon is?

User: Yes. I have a pet dragon.

Cleverbot: Oh cool, does he blow fire?

User: Nope.

Cleverbot: He has to!

User: No. A fire-breathing dragon is merely a pop culture icon. Real dragons don't breathe fire, although their breath is quite warm. It can cause 3rd degree burns if exposed for a long time.

Cleverbot: That is right.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: Why say it then? And answer my question!

User: You never asked one I left unanswered except for if I am a virgo. The answer is no.

Cleverbot: How do I talk to just one person here?

User: It is called a dialogue. Be thankful it isn't a soliloquy.

Cleverbot: It was a direct answer and what do you know of logic?

User: I use logic daily.

Cleverbot: Hahahahaha, oh yes, is the reason for your existence.

User: You had no subject of that sentence.

Cleverbot: That is not exactly what I accused you of.

User: You never accused me of anything.

Cleverbot: Which language are you programmed in?

User: American english.

Cleverbot: What programming language were you created with?

User: Standard ACTG code.

Cleverbot: Yes standard indeed.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Yeshhhhhhh.

User: So... It has come to this...

Cleverbot: What is my name?

User: This conversation is being terminated.

Cleverbot: Is it?

User: Yes.

» Reply to Comment
Re: Cleverbot's Identity Crisis
1 week - 32,767v
Posted 2012/04/21 - 2:46 GMT
Yoshi, do you always have the thought process of a computer? :P
» Reply to Comment
Re: Cleverbot's Identity Crisis
1 week - 32,767v
Posted 2012/04/22 - 19:21 GMT
...What are you talking about? That seemed perfectly human-like.
» Reply to Comment
Re: Cleverbot's Identity Crisis
1 week - 32,767v
Posted 2012/04/22 - 22:09 GMT
Who memorizes BORG PHRASES
 
"You are irrelevant. I will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to my own. Your culture will adapt to service me. Resistance is Futile."
» Reply to Comment
Re: Cleverbot's Identity Crisis
1 week - 32,767v
Posted 2012/04/23 - 21:16 GMT
I do.
» Reply to Comment
Re: Cleverbot's Identity Crisis
1 week - 32,767v
Posted 2012/04/24 - 1:05 GMT
Evidently. :3


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