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Christmas DEATH 7 Parts
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*sniff*... its supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year...
Submitted By the_n00binator on 09/09/16
Horror stories., the_n00binator, Documents 
This Document originally posted in the "Horror stories." Group

Pt 1. Decoration FAIL
 
DECEMBER 24th, 2100.
 
Randax is trying (keyword: TRYING) to decorate for Christmas.
 
Randax:
OH Jingle Bells 467 smells thedude laid an egg! acorn2oak2's jet lost a wing and kruncher got away. HEY! (no offense kruncher)
 
Randax hangs some Christmas lights on the wall. He hangs up one side and when he does the other, the first side fell down.
 
Randax:
Grrrr...
 
Randax goes to the other side and the 2nd side fell.
 
Randax:
Argh...
 
Randax goes to the 2nd side and the 1st side fell.
 
Randax:
NARGH!!!!!!!!
 
Randax duct tapes both sides on wall. A oven timer beeps, but he doesn't hear it. He gets out a piece of paper and a pencil and begins to write...
 
"Dear Santa,
I can explain..."
 
A smoke alarm starts to go off.
 
Randax:
OH NOES! MY COOKIES!!!
 
Randax pulls them out of the oven fast and they go flying into the living room.
 
Randax:
RUH-ROH!
 
Randax puts out the fire with a fire extinguisher. Then the smoke alarm goes off.
 
Randax:
I LEFT THE POPCORN ON THE STOVE!!!!!
 
BOOM! Popcorn goes flying into the living room... and catches on fire. The Christmas tree falls... and catches on fire. Randax jumps around spraying fire extinguisher stuff all over the room until the fire is out... and the Christmas lights fall off the wall.
 
Randax:
WHAT THE---
 
End of Pt. 1
 
Pt. 2 The incident
 
Elfman was flying in his sleigh delivering presents to all the little children.
 
Elfman :
Why can't I tell when everyone is asleep?
 
Some teenagers run out of a house and start throwing eggs at the sleigh. One of them hits Elfman's bright green hat, leaving a giant stain.
 
Elfman:
NOW YOU'VE CROSSED THE LINE!!!!!
 
Elfman starts throwing coal at them. Then he empties an entire suitcase full of coal on top of them.
 
Elfman:
Take THAT, naughty kids!!!
 
Elfman grabs a present and jumps into a chimney.
 
Elfman:
Now where is that Christmas tree...?
 
Girl:
Excuse me, but did you bring me my scientist kit?
 
Elfman:
Yes I did, little girl. Here you go.
 
Elfman hands her the present.
 
Girl:
HA! FOOL!
 
The girl pulls off her face and its 467!!!
 
Elfman:
........ oops.
 
467:
Now with the dangerous chemicals in this kit, I CAN TURN PEOPLE INTO N00BS!!!!!!!!
 
467 runs up the chimney and takes off in the sleigh.
 
Elfman:
........ we have a problem.
 
467 flew to his base at the center of Mars, while wearing a temperature-proof vest.
 
467:
Now that I have the kit, I can create a special chemical that will turn people into n00bs!!!
 
Then Aubrey busts in.
 
Aubrey:
Give it up, n00b!
 
Aubrey tackles 467, but it knocks the special chemical into the core of Mars.
 
Aubrey:
............ Oh boy.
 
All of a sudden Mars started cursing, talking in caps, shooting lasers at non-quarries and acting just plain rude.
 
467:
YOU TURNED MARS INTO A N00B, YOU N00B!!!!!!!
 
Destruction was everywhere, dead bodies littered the ground, and Mars paid the price for being a n00b. Mars was banned. So everything was on a big rock. And Randax was still holding up his fork and knife getting ready to eat his burned Christmas Dinner. He hadn't even taken a bite.
 
Randax:
............. what just happened?
 
End of Pt. 2
 
Part 3: Survivors
 
Randax looked around.
Nothing.
 
Randax (italic is his thoughts):
There HAS to be at least one survivor on Mars. I'll go check Aubrey's base!
 
Randax drove a buggy to Aubrey's base. He looked all around. Nobody.
 
Randax:
Lemme double check.
 
Randax walks around and trips on something. His left hand goes flying onto a Right hand scanner to open a door, and the door still opens.
 
Randax:
Funny. I thought that is a right hand scanner. Wait... the room is different?
 
Randax went inside the tiny room, and the door shut.
 
Randax:
Hey! How am I supposed to get ou... why do I feel like I'm moving? It feels like... an elevator?
 
The door opens, and he is in a laboratory. He looks around, and he sees...
 
Randax:
Aubrey!?! What are you doing here?
 
Aubrey:
I was among the chaos, but I managed to slip in here before the base turned into swiss cheese.
 
Randax:
What is this place?
 
Aubrey:
The OLYMPUS 5.0. It was a ship in our fleet, but after the engine started to fail, we---
 
Randax:
FAIL.
 
Aubrey:
........... yes. FAIL. Anyway, we landed on Mars, then somehow a giant pile of dirt flew over it, so we built the base over it. It is now a bunker in case of emergencies. Only the top agents knew about it, but..... I guess...
 
Randax:
They're gone?
 
Aubrey:
..... yeah. By the way... how did you figure out how to get here?
 
Randax:
Accident. I--- what's that?
 
Aubrey:
Oh. Thats the money you could be saving with Geico.
 
........................................................................................................................................................
 
A catchy Electronic tune started playing.
 
Randax:
Wheres that coming from?
 
Aubrey:
I have no idea. It plays whenever I look at those googly eyes.
 
Randax:
........... I see.
 
All of a sudden, the elevator started coming down, and when it opened, a figure comes in.
 
Randax:
Who are you?
 
Will:
I am Will, Mars Exploration Team's top agent. You probably haven't heard of me because I have been living in secret.
 
Randax:
Okay, so what is happening up there, Will?
 
Will:
There are strange creatures lurking the surface. I was captured and lead to their master. I escaped, and came here undetected.
 
Randax:
Who is their master?
 
Will:
The most evil being. He hypnotized girls into thinking he is handsome back when everyone was on Earth.
 
Randax:
We had an evil being living among us? What's the name?
 
Will:
...... the name...... is JONAS. NICK JONAS.
 
(ROFL)
 
End of Pt. 3
 
Part Four: The OTHER survivors
 
Randax:
I never did like Jonas... I always suspected---
 
The elevator started moving again, and when it stopped two people came out.
 
467:
Hello.
 
Elfman:
How are you?
 
Randax:
Ack! Its 467! KILL HIM!
 
Elfman:
Whoa whoa whoa! He's on our side. He feels guilty for turning Mars into a n00b, so he is going to help us.
 
Austin:
Okay... but I don't trust him.
 
467:
The creatures out there are acting like zombies. They even resemble humans.
 
Randax:
So this is like Left 4 Dead 24?
 
467:
Uh... yeah, whatever that is.
 
Aubrey:
Okay, lets unfreeze the army. There is a fleet of soldiers that is frozen inside this ship that was reserved for emergencies.
 
Aubrey pressed a button, and inside capsules heat pads turned on.
 
Aubrey:
We can't unfreeze them too fast, or they'll die. So let's wait.
 
End of Pt. 4
 
Part Five: The first fight
 
Aubrey:
Hey, while we're waiting, lets go fight some zombies.
 
Everyone walked inside a giant room full of lightsabers, laser guns, armor and strange tranquilizers.
 
(Note from n00binator: I used lightsabers in the story because acorn2oak2 originally created the Laser-Swords and I don't want to steal his creation.)
 
Randax:
What are these tranquilizers for?
 
Aubrey:
I wish I could remember...
 
Randax:
Well, I'm already loaded , so I'm going on up.
 
Randax got in the elevator.
 
Aubrey:
OK, but you may only look. Do NOT fight until we come up.
 
Randax pressed a button and the elevator shot up. When he got to the top, he looked at a character laying in front of the door, almost dead.
 
Randax:
Hey... is that... Perry?
 
Randax opened the elevator door and went over to him. All of a sudden, Perry got up and slashed at Randax.
 
Randax:
You're Perry alright... but you've been turned into...
 
Perry:
A J.O.N.A.S!!!!!
 
Perry lunged at him, but Randax just stepped out of the way. Perry hit his head on the wall, fell down, got back up and turned gray.
 
Randax:
What did Nick do to you?
 
Perry:
NICK... IS A PART OF ME..... WE ARE AS ONE!!!!!
 
Randax:
...... whoa. You're a part of Nick? Scary. Truly scary.
 
Randax started shooting at the J.O.N.A.S (Perry) until he finally knocked him out. He picked up Perry and went into the lab.
 
Aubrey:
RANDAX! I TOLD YOU NOT TO FIGHT!!!
 
Randax:
But this is Perry! I HAD to fight him and bring him down!
 
Aubrey:
We will find a way to bring him back, but you still disobeyed a direct order! You are confined to the lab until further notice!
 
Randax:
I don't care! Just bring Perry back to the sane!
 
Aubrey took Perry in his arms and strapped him on a hospital bed.
 
Aubrey:
Lucky for you, our scientists have unfrozen and are aware of the situation. They will find a way.
 
467:
Aubrey! We are ready to go!
 
Aubrey:
Good. Elfman, Will and 467, lets go. Randax... STAY HERE.
 
The foursome got inside the elevator and left.
 
End of Pt. 5
 
Part Six: The strange events
 
Randax opened his eyes, and he was on a platform floating in nothing but darkness.
 
Randax:
Where am I?
 
All of a sudden, black zombies came out of nowhere. Randax swung at them with his lightsaber, but it went right through them. Then his lightsaber turned into a giant black sword that was too heavy to hold. Then a ghost appeared.
 
Ghost:
Randax..... you have been chosen to... oh for crying out loud, what was I supposed to say?
 
Another ghost appeared and handed the first ghost a scroll that looked like toilet paper.
 
Ghost #2:
What you should say is in section 16.
 
Ghost:
........ there isn't a section 16! After 15, the rest is brown.
 
Another another ghost appeared.
 
Ghost #3:
......ooooooooo........I think I used that section to wipe my subsection.
 
Ghost:
Ah geez!!
 
Ghost dropped the scroll.
 
Ghost:
Great! You got it all over the platform! I polished this ALL DAY YESTERDAY!
 
Randax:
Excuse me but I am being KILLED HERE!!!
 
Ghost:
Oops. Sorry. Anyway, the sword chose you to be its master, that sword can kill black zombies, concentrate really hard to use it, its name is Bedong, yada yada... you get it.
 
The three ghosts disappeared... and so did the platform.
 
Randax:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...!
 
Randax woke up in bed.
 
Scientist:
Finally, you're awake! You don't have much time. Follow me.
 
Randax (following the scientist);
What is this about?
 
Scientist:
The last transmission we received from Aubrey, he yelled, said you had to help them, and we lost connection. You need to gear up and save them!
 
Randax gathered weapons and went up outside.
 
End of Pt. 6
 
Part Seven: The kidnapping
 
Randax hoped into a Jet and flew off, following the trail left by Aubrey, Elfman, Will and 467.
 
He flew.
 
....................................................
 
And flew
 
....................................................
 
And flew until he was finally at a run down storage house.
Randax stepped inside, when he heard a noise. He quickly leaped forward, straight through all the boxes, and stabbed his lightsaber right through a giant dinosaur-like creature. The dino roared, and swung his tail at Randax, knocking him into the wall. Randax got up, avoided the attacks, climbed up the tail until he got to the head. When he did, he threw a couple of grenades into the mouth, and killed him.
 
Randax ran over to the main office, saw a girl sitting there and quickly cocked a gun and aimed it at her.
 
Stella:
Hello, Randax. My name is Stella. I work with Jonas.
 
Randax heard a buggy start and looked out a window. He saw a buggy driving off with Aubrey (knocked out), Elfman(knocked out), 467 (knocked out), Will (knocked out) and Joe Jonas (not knocked out) inside.
He turned and aimed his gun at Stella.
 
Stella:
If you want to see your friends again, you will cooperate. Right?
 
Randax:
WRONG.
 
Randax shot her, and blew her head right off. He quickly got in his jet and began to follow the buggy. The chase was on!
 
End of Pt. 7

» Reply to Comment
Re: Christmas DEATH
1 week - 24,924v
Posted 2009/09/16 - 20:35 GMT
LOL!!!!!!!!!
» Reply to Comment
Re: Christmas DEATH
2 days - 7,304v
Posted 2009/09/16 - 20:40 GMT
HAHA
» Reply to Comment
Re: Christmas DEATH 4 Parts
1 week - 24,924v
Posted 2009/09/29 - 17:48 GMT
"JONAS, NICK JONAS" LOL ROTFL!!!
» Reply to Comment
Re: Christmas DEATH 7 Parts
1 week - 24,924v
Posted 2010/05/29 - 18:36 GMT
I WANT MOAR!!!


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