Mars Fan Fic
15 Comments - 36529 Views
I think it's my turn?
Submitted By Fai on 11/10/20
Mars Explorer, Fai, Community, Creations, Publications, Fan Fiction 
This Document originally posted in the "Mars Explorer" Group

Gee, I'm coming up with the most creative titles, aren't I. Oh well. Anyway, on with it!
 
*Ahem*
 
Fuzz, that's all he saw. His eyes were open, but everything was shifted, morphed, blended. Nothing made sense, it all just swam around. He saw colors, moving through unvisible objects, twisting and turning. He tried to focus his mind, but all he saw was pain. Not felt, but saw. Red lines shooting across his vision. He stopped. He tried again, this time reaching out with his thoughts. There was nothing. He was alone, but then, there was a presence. It was a dull presence. Not a high level of intelligence. He wasn't aware it could think. He didn't care. He just wanted to be free.
 
Meanwhile
 
The base was quiet today. Only a few were online, and even less were actually working. Stephen didn't care about them, though. They could slack off, but they got no reward. He knew that his hard work would pay off eventually. That morning he had coasted in at 6:00, and went straight to the trainers. He worked there for around five or six hours. For him, this was normal. He was getting better, he felt.
 
Meanwhile
 
He found it. He took it. It was him now. Low level intelligence, but he could change that. Not could, he would change that. All the useless info was the first to go, as he cleaned the mind. He was aware it was painful for his host, but after what he had been through, he didn't care. He felt sadness. He felt anger. He felt nothing.
 
Meanwhile
 
Stephen was asleep just before he woke up. This was fairly normal for him. However, he was previously asleep in the mess hall, and had woken up in a plate of potatoes and ham. This, he concluded, was not so normal. He realized that he was not aware of himself. He then decided he had not realized it, because he was not aware of himself. His mind tore itself apart. He lost conciousness. Again.
 
Meanwhile
 
The parasite tore apart his concious, relentlessly flaying Stephen's mind. It was glad for his Host's strong will, and all the training his host had done to prepare for something he didn't know about. What a stupid entity, it thought. It just let me destroy everything it worked for, by letting me in. How stupid. At least this will serve me well. As it finished, it surveyed it's work. The martian-rover was completely devoid of conciousness now, and completely under it's control. It drove off, happy, to find it's own kind. 
 
End.

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Re: Mars Fan Fic
1 day - 3,534v
Posted 2011/10/20 - 2:10 GMT
Better than most on here - not mostly diolouge(Yes, I know), which is rare.
Some very good 1st and 3rd person melding too.
 
Title should be - "Meanwhile". Duh :)
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Re: Mars Fan Fic
1 week - 32,767v
Posted 2011/10/20 - 2:49 GMT
Unlike most Fan Fiction on the site, I actually read it. And I like it.
 
I assume that it is some kid being destroyed by a tank noob?
 
By the way, what do potatoes and ham have to do with joining a server? lol
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Re: Mars Fan Fic
1 week - 32,767v
Posted 2011/10/20 - 2:51 GMT
So what's with the potatoes? Is it a Potato-land?
Meal-land?
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Re: Mars Fan Fic
3 hours - 736v
Posted 2011/10/20 - 2:57 GMT
Mr. Potatoe head???? Hot potatoe????
» Reply to Comment
Re: Mars Fan Fic
1 week - 31,391v
Posted 2011/10/20 - 5:30 GMT
And my posts are getting hidden...
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Re: Mars Fan Fic
3 days - 10,628v
Posted 2011/10/20 - 7:55 GMT
Well done.  Definitely worth the read.
» Reply to Comment
Re: Mars Fan Fic
1 week - 32,767v
Posted 2011/10/20 - 15:03 GMT
Wow Fai I'm impressed! Very psychadelic! :P
It's a little bit short though... I hope you intend to add more to it.
But great story! Much better written than most of the other fan fiction posts nowadays!
I hereby attribute to this post...
 
 
Pancakes' Seal of Approval
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Re: Mars Fan Fic
2 weeks - 18,835v
Posted 2011/10/21 - 0:02 GMT
See the point is that the buggies are actually sentinent life forms, and we are parasitic beings that use them as hosts for our own amusement. 
 
._.
 
Small face is small...
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Re: Mars Fan Fic
1 week - 32,767v
Posted 2011/10/21 - 0:35 GMT
Ohhh...
LOLOLOLOL low intelligence.
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Re: Mars Fan Fic
3 days - 10,628v
Posted 2011/10/21 - 0:56 GMT
You explain too much, I think.  It's not too hard to get after the first explanation IMO, and even that might be too much.  I would recommend at least putting it (the original) in the comments to give readers a little time to think about what they just read before it is spoon fed to them.
 
This is a very interesting idea though.  Glad to see someone still has some creativity around here.
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Re: Mars Fan Fic
2 weeks - 18,835v
Posted 2011/10/21 - 1:03 GMT
Will do.
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Re: Mars Fan Fic
2 weeks - 18,835v
Posted 2011/10/21 - 1:03 GMT
 
 
 
 
ANYWAY, this was a weird story. Yup! In case you didn't catch it, it's supposed to be about what really goes on when a person joins a server, but I don't think anyone caught that. =_= Oh well. Now you know.
 
I think I won't write any more Fan Fics.
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Re: Mars Fan Fic
3 days - 8,344v
Posted 2011/10/21 - 0:07 GMT
i like the new outlook on what could happen in the game.
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Re: Mars Fan Fic
1 week - 32,767v
Posted 2011/10/21 - 8:53 GMT
I've actually had a story for Fan Fiction ready for a while now, but of course, I did'nt originally write it on my computer, I wrote it on paper, and the problem is, it's just sooooo long (Like 4000-5000 words) and I have'nt yet got the time to type it XD
But half term is coming this week-end so you guys wil most definitely get to read it soon :P
» Reply to Comment
Re: Mars Fan Fic
5 days - 26,111v
Posted 2011/10/23 - 15:27 GMT
Cool Alex.Can't wait. :)


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